Tuesday, March 22, 2016

If I Could Do My Wedding Over...

The things I'd change if I had the opportunity to do my wedding over.
Many brides often ask themselves down the road, years after their nuptials, what they'd do differently if they could re-do their wedding.  With bridal season fast approaching and the handful of women that I know personally who will be walking down the aisle this year, I thought I'd look back at my wedding and share some of the things I'd change.

Eleven and a half years ago, I got married.  It was a total DIY wedding (before Pinterest made this a thing) and my fiance and I did the whole shebang ourselves from our engagement party to the moment our reception wound down and everyone went home.  We have some good memories and some bad ones.  These are the things I'd do differently.

I cannot tell you how many hours went into all the minute details we included in our wedding events. We designed and printed our own invitations and inserts, including the little maps I painstakingly created in Publisher and stuffed into each envelope.  We made over two hundred white chocolate daisy lollipops and wrapped them in little cellophane bags with hand-printed tags as our favors.  I hand-stitched the ring bearer's pillow and glued satin and daisies on the flower girl's basket.  I even decorated an old-school Radio Flyer wagon that my baby nephew would be pulled in during the processional.

What I'm getting at by telling you all of these details is that no matter how proud we were of the little touches we created for our day, no one remembers those things.  I don't even remember half of that stuff a decade later.  Think those tiny details through.  Reserve your time and money on the kitschy stuff like personalized cocktail napkins and focus on the things that are truly important to you.

Poofy cap sleeves.  Dip-dyed shoes.  Awful color palettes.  These are the decisions brides cringe at when looking back through their wedding albums years later.  Yes, all brides want their day to be beautiful and to be them but you don't want to dread looking back on your day because of poor fashion choices made.

When picking your bridal look (and the look of your bridesmaids) try to keep it timeless and refrain from following the trends.  You want your day to be unique and not something over a million other people are also doing because it's the style or on Pinterest.  Simple is ALWAYS better.

Too many brides (myself included) put all their time, money and effort into making their weddings perfect, down to the final detail, thinking the marriage will reflect that twenty-four hours of Pinterestly-curated bliss.  WRONG. Marriages take a lot of hard work - much more work than organizing any wedding day.  You can not set your marriage on auto-pilot and expect the next fifty years to fly by with a smile on your face.

If I can give you one tip in this department, it would be to save as much money as you can on your wedding and put it in savings for a rainy day.  Inevitably, one of you will lose your job.  Or you will have a child sooner than you planned. Or you will not have planned for a $500 electric bill every month your first winter together.  The idea is to make your wedding day special, yes but don't blow your entire life savings and make your parents mortgage their home on one day. Come in under your budget and start a little nest egg so you and your sweetie don't have to argue about how you're going to keep the lights on.

Looking back on my wedding day, I wish I would have not been so concerned with following our timeline to the second.  I wish I would have ignored the wrinkled tablecloths.  I wish I would have put my checklist down.  I wish I could have just enjoyed myself and my day.

At the end of the night, don't sweat the little things.  Don't worry about the stuff you can't control and just have a blast. No wedding is perfect. Something will inevitably go wrong.  Ignore that stuff and dance, because people will remember the bride who hiked her dress up and got down on the dance floor.

What is one tip you can share about planning a wedding?

The post If I Could Do My Wedding Over first appeared on A Simpler Grace.  If you enjoyed this article, please feel free to share it with your friends!


  1. Thanks for sharing this post. I got married in July 2015. It was the best day of my life. I actually felt a bit down after the wedding, because all of the fuss and excitement (there was stress too, ha!) was over. But it's so important to remember that a beautiful wedding doesn't make a perfect marriage. I love how you put that! Marriage is a great adventure and journey. It's so much more than the wedding day. X

    Elise, sheislight.com

  2. Elise, I'm surprised how many brides believe that if they throw the perfect wedding day then they will skate through the rest of life without any problems. Its so important to put the most time and effort into the relationship rather than one day. Thanks for coming by today!

  3. I don't think there's much I would do differently about my wedding...except for get someone to take a video. I wouldn't have hired someone, I was in college, after all, but I should have asked a family member to at least take some video. I love our pictures, I love my dress, I love that it was laid-back and humble and simple, not an affair that was grander than I am as a person. I'm glad I did my own makeup and wore my hair down and natural. I'm actually glad I planned the wedding during a semester because being busy in college saved me from thinking too much about the wedding day. :)

  4. Rachel, it sounds like you put a lot of time into making intentional decisions about your wedding, which is a good thing. I think that's the only way to do it. It must have been a lovely day! Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. :)