Monday, October 08, 2018

Simple Gratitude | 140

I'm sharing my #gratefulheart on the blog. What are you grateful for today? #gratitude #feelingthankful
"We have to dare to be ourselves, however frightening or strange that self may prove to be." 
- May Sarton

It was an emotionally draining week and unfortunately, my anxiety didn't make life any easier. I find that it's too easy to face my family and friends or to go on social media and pretend that nothing is wrong - to mask my feelings and act as if life was A-okay. But the problem with this is that I can close myself off to the deep connection that I crave by not letting anyone in to see my hurt and grief and other icky parts. This week was a lesson in opening up and letting someone in.

This week, I'm grateful for:
  • My best friend. Bless his soul. That someone I let it this week was the friend who walked through some dark and unexpected feelings with me. Everything I had been afraid of, the judgment and blame and condescension, didn't show up. He loved me through it. He got me. Because he had been there too. 
  • Helen Redfern's honesty. She's known as @abookishbaker on Instagram. She's a writer from the U.K. and she's been doing writing vlogs on IGTV, and I have loved watching every week. She is brutally honest about her process and talks about the frustration when she is unable to accomplish everything she sets out to do at the beginning of the week, but she's also very open about how she's had to learn to not be so hard on herself. If you are a writer and struggle with doubt, you should check out her feed. Her community is awesome.
  • Being honest about feelings. I was watching a movie this weekend, and although I can't describe the exact moment it happened, I was reminded of a time when I felt guilty for being relieved about something when I should have felt sad about. I am reminded of the quote from Mr. Rogers that says, "There's no 'should' or 'should not' when it comes to having feelings. They're part of who we are and their origins are beyond our control. When we can believe that, we may find it easier to make constructive choices about what to do with those feelings." I plan to write more about this topic and talk about this particular event I'm referring to, but, for some reason, this idea clicked that I shouldn't be apologizing or making excuses for why I feel an emotion. Feelings aren't manual and I need to stop treating them as if they were.
  • The tennis ball trick. That damn neck spasm came back this week. It must be the way I sit when I'm working or else it's all the time I spend on my phone (even though I've cut back over the last few months,) but my left trap ceases up and I end up unable to turn my head to either side or crack my neck, which introduces problems in itself. When I spent months in physical therapy many years ago, my therapist told me that grabbing a tennis ball and placing it under the trigger point and rolling my body weight on it, should help release the muscles. Sure enough. It's not completely free, but I have some range of motion now. 
  • Protecting my energy. I am a sponge when it comes to bad energy. If I'm around someone who is emitting negative vibes, I tend to suck it up, whether I want to or not. Over the course of my adult life, I've learned that it's best to walk away from someone who is only producing bad energy, even if that means permanently severing the relationship. I had to do that this weekend when a colleague posted a really crappy comment on Facebook about a mutual friend. It was completely uncalled for and, frankly, it was the tip of an iceberg that has made itself apparent over the course of our friendship. I don't like to go to this extreme, but, at the end of the day, we must do what is best for ourselves. I'm waving the white flag.

What are you grateful for today? 

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22 comments:

  1. I hadn't heard of Helen Redfern, going to check her out. Might give me the added boost I need as I start out a new writing project. Thanks for sharing.

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  2. Such a good idea to share your weekly gratitude journal on your blog!! I need to get better about remembering things I'm thankful for.

    xoxo A
    www.southernbelleintraining.com

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  3. I love that Mr. Rogers quote and it is so true. Our feelings are part of us and we have them whether we want them or not, and it is true that what we do with those feelings is what is most important. I'm sorry to hear you had a tough week. I hope things get better. <3

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  4. Ooof, I can’t wait to see the Mr. Rogers moviebwith Tom Hanks (have you seen the Netflix special about his life? I haven’t yet, but having watched him all my childhood I feel like, he was so pure and almost too good for this world if that makes sense).

    I’m so sorry that things have been shaky lately and that you feel like you are wearing a mask on social media. I get that, but hope you know you can (and are encouraged) to always reach out when you need a friend of just a shoulder, some ears. I am here :)

    Thank god for best friends who get us and ridding our lives of negative energy. Sometimes it is simply crucial for our own growth. I think sometimes that a tree cannot continue living with dead branches and sometimes the same can be said about the dead weight we carry with us. Sending so much xoxo your way, sweet friend.

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  5. Love that quote, and it's so true. You can't help how you feel, so sometimes you just have to let yourself feel it. I agree about getting away from people with negative energy. I'm really sensitive to other people's moods too so it can be tough

    -Lauren
    www.shootingstarsmag.net

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  6. I think I need to begin a gratitude journal. This could help me focus more on the good around me, even when I'm stressed. Loved reading your list!

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  7. I love that quote! Sometimes it's so hard to open up and be honest about our feelings.

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  8. I love the quote too! I've written it on my weekly spread in my planner. Something I need to keep reminding myself. :)

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  9. I haven't seen the Netflix special yet. I haven't even seen the movie that was in the theaters this summer, but I need to. Thank you so much for the encouragement, friend. I tend to feel things so deeply and I'm always hesitant to share what's really going on with people because deep down, I tell myself that I might be overreacting. That tree analogy - a light bulb just went on for me. Thank you!!

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  10. Yes! It's not always easy to get away from the bad energy, but I'm trying. :)

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  11. She is so inspiring but also down to earth!

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  12. You should! It's been such a blessing for me. :)

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  13. I love that you're no longer feeling guilty about your own feelings! We can only control our feelings so much, and more often than not it's best to just accept whatever it is that you're feeling - after all, you're only human!

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  14. That quote is so true. I'm sorry you had a rough week but glad that your friend was there for you in your time of need. Often talking about things and having someone just listen while you unpack feelings and hurt helps immensely.
    Oh I can relate to needing to protect my energy. I find negativity so draining and wish people could see when I'm not interested or what they are saying is just unnecessary and mean. Something I find really annoying is the inability some people have to be happy for others. It is like making a nasty comment is easier than saying something nice.

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  15. I’m thankful for my husband, who has literally been incredible as we go through a crazy transition at work. I’m thankful for my amazing friend who has been encouraging me through a potentially new opportunity in life. ❤️ It’s wonderful to surround yourself with amazing people.

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  16. Yes, talking about things has definitely been helping and I've been so blessed to have a great friend who has lent me his shoulder and ear. Isn't it amazing how contagious negative energy can be? Sometimes I feel like it's the plague. :D

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  17. Sounds like you have a great hubby and friend! Hope you have a wonderful week, Kiara!

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  18. You are so wise, Indya. I need to remind myself that I'm only human more. :)

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  19. I am so glad you had someone turn out to be such a great friend and listener!

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